Note: picture above is the Miami sky line.
Over the weekend I watched a lot of TV. Ordinarily, said with a high dose of self-righteousness, I try not to watch TV (except for the love of my life John Stewart). However, Friday I called in sick to work due to a terrible but thankfully brief bout with the flu – the kind where you can’t even stand. When I am sick, or I should say that sick, mostly all I do is watch TV and try to sleep. And of course, Sunday there is DH and “Brothers and Sisters” both of which have been really good lately. (Okay, I also watched DWTS).
Through the course of all of the TV watching, the phrase “soul-crushing” kept ringing in my ears. I think it was either a commercial or an advertisement for some new show about working in an office. And now that I am working in a office – it got me thinking about the whole concept.
Don’t get me wrong, if “soul-crushing” was Detroit my new job would be Miami. It is going exceedingly well. But what I think might be “soul-crushing,” for me is working in general. It is getting in the way of my art, my passion all that is life-giving for me. Case in point this blog which I have terribly neglected. Part of why I started my first blog was more than just a pet project but rather a strategic way to really work on becoming a writer. Now that I have a full-time gig, the desire to write hasn’t faded but most days I am out of energy to work towards it.
I’ve heard it said do what you love and you will never work a day in your life but like true love, I wonder how many people ever indeed find that kind of fulfillment. Is earning a paycheck just a means to an end? There is a scene from a movie; I think it might have been “City Slickers” where a character talks about people spending most of their lives tied up in knots only to untie them on vacation. I don’t want my life to be that; I don’t want to live from vacation to vacation or weekend to weekend. Alas, I must conclude as I have to get to the office.
5 comments:
Ah, it's hard isn't it? I don't know. I am in the same place as you! If it is any consolation, I have many friends who have given blood, sweat and tears to get a Broadway show. Cut to three months later -- they are jaded and b*tchy about it. I have seen it happen to every single one!
I'm sure you could get uncountable sympathizers. You're part of a stimulus size club, Jen!
Have you found true love and/or are doing the life work you love? If you haven't, don't give up, especially when you're still young
Hmmm, a tough topic. Part me of fully understands the feeling of wanting to live life more fully and with more meaning. However, part of me feels like we are truly privileged people to be contemplating the soul-crushing nature of having a job that pays enough to have a comfortable life. So many people in this world would give anything to have the education, skills and opportunity to have a job that pays enough to afford a comfortable lifestyle...or even just an adequate lifestyle. I definitely feel strongly about doing something you love. But to follow your analogy of finding true love, I don't think anyone magically finds and maintains true love. True love takes work. Doing work that you love is still work. It's just your perspective. But I guess the moral of the story is: I'm not an artist and you are. I guess that's why they say a lot of artists are "tortured"- they want for something that may not exist.
good thoughts by all...btw, it is good to be back blogging.
Hi there - I've just found you for the first time - and I kept nodding my head over this post. I've just got a new job and while everything about it is better than the old one, while everyone is excited for me, I have a distinct twinge of ick about the whole thing. Like you - I don't actually WANT to work for someone else - but I guess we have to believe that we will get there!
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