The Minnesota Vikings

This weekend for the first and last time in my life I rooted for the Minnesota Vikings. Even before I discovered Brett Favre with the rest of America in the early nineties, I knew the Vikings were absolutely cursed. It is worse than the old “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” syndrome – it is a deep seated doom. They are the Boston Red Sox (pre whatever year that was the finally won the World Series) and the Chicago Cubs rolled into one. I believe it is quite possible that some Norse God hexed them to the miserable experience their franchise has endured over the years.

But this year, along with many, many other Brett devotees, I was faced with an ethical dilemma – could I root against Brett Favre? Could I indeed place my hopes in the hands of a team I have for so long considered cursed? So I, like many other Brett lovers, threw caution to the wind and embraced the purple. Just like two years ago when the Packers, at the time lead by Brett Favre, came so close to beating the NY Giants, I so wanted to see Brett go to the Super Bowl one last time.

Of course, the nearly three hours I rooted for the Minnesota Vikings were three of the most regrettable hours of my life. I perhaps ought to take some solace that now when someone asks me, as they often do, what is the biggest regret of my life, I will finally have a good answer. I am also revisiting the plan of creating a 12-step program specifically designed for the special needs of Minnesota Vikings fans that I have long toyed with. To add insult to injury, I believe this might finally be Brett Favre’s retirement.

Somber Reflection on Events to come…

Dear friends, the time has come. I can no longer postpone dealing with the pain. I can no longer pretend there is not an elephant following me around to every room of every single place I go to. This most awful of awful of situations will not be made better by not looking it square in the eyes and calling it what it is. Terrible. Ridiculously terrible.

Pete Carroll will likely announce his regrettable decision to take a job coaching the Seattle Seahawks in the morning. Burn down Athens; bomb the harbor, pillage Rome, siege the city – whatever metaphor people use to describe devastating and irreversible turns of events that bring ends to empires. The Trojans’ glory suffered terrible blows this year, but this, dear friends is the end. And to think, coach Carroll knew Thursday night of the tragedy about to befall our beloved Trojans when he eloquently, coolly and perhaps a bit smugly commentated the BCS game.

This might be worse than Brett Favre becoming a Viking. Good Lord, do I now have to be a Seahawks fan? I think I might have to call in sick to work tomorrow.